This was my BEST home school year ever! Because "I let it go."

On Mother's day I was talking to my mom on the phone and I realized that the words "this was our best year ever."came out of my mouth!   Really? I said that?  Yeah! I did and  it was!

This was my 4th year homeschooling my son and at times  it has been a huge head ache!  Like when I hand him something that should take 5 minutes and 45 minutes later the first problem is barely done.  I would have to sit on him just to get anything done.  I would go to Facebook groups for help but others were in the same boat!  I have tried everything! Timers do not help.  Yelling DEFINITELY does not help!

Then one day I read that sometimes you should just allow your kids to suffer their own consequences and that often you just get into a power struggle.  YEAH YEAH I have heard that before.  But really I guess I never thought it over to deeply.  But then I made the decision.  LET HIM SUFFER FROM HIS OWN CONSEQUENCES.  Logical, easy , no brainer.  Well it wasn't.  It took some time to work on this one!

At first I took a wipe erase board and made a list every day of what had to get done that day.  What was not done at the end of the day would go to the late list.  He could not have TV, video games, electronics, internet (other than school work) or dessert/treats until it was all done. I made it clear that outside of school hours I would NOT help him so that I was not stuck helping all the time too!  I have to admit, at first this was hard!  I had to keep telling myself "Let it go" he knows his consequences.  But I did not trust myself or this method, so  I would last a day or 2 and then I would start hounding on him.

Eventually I began to trust myself more and the plan. Then when he had no fun activities for almost 2 weeks!  That was hard!  I would just look at that list and want to hound on him.  I could feel the aggravation build up! But again, I had to work on trusting him and trusting that he would work when he felt the motivation. Finally, when he could take it no longer, he was tired of having no real "fun", he would all the sudden work hard to get it ALL done! I was always astounded by just how much work he could do and how fast!  No hounding, no stress.  He just worked!

As the year progressed and I became more confident that it would get done, I began to relax and trust him.  When I began to see how hard and willing he was to work when he wanted something, I knew this plan was going to work.  And now I can say that this has been the best year since we started! And we are STILL where we need to be, we are NOT behind.  Well, actually we are ahead, but we school all year.

Interestingly,  I noticed he spent his time building, being creative and  reading over a chapter book a day!  It really helped me to relax when I saw that what he was doing in this spare time was actually educational.  He was not just sitting around doing nothing, he was building forts, making books, drawing pictures and using his imagination.  Honestly, I know this will sound mean, but I actually like him to be a little behind  I no do not have to negotiate TV time or video games with him, it actually makes parenting easier on me now!  I love how much he reads when he does not have those options!

The way I have rationalized this approach is that  I am not going to be there to hound on him all of his life!  I will not call him every morning to ensure that he gets up and goes to work! When he grows up he will learn the hard way that if you do not get your boring work done there will be terrible consequences, like being fired! He has to learn that NO ONE has a life that all they get to do is fun things, we all have boring things to do everyday!  My boring thing is cleaning house, I hate it!  I  feel that I am giving him a taste of responsibility and accountability.  Do not get your work done, you will not get to enjoy the fun things.  I want to add though, that some things, piano practice and chores were NOT allowed to not be done, Those had a whole different set of consequences for not being done.

Well, like I said, really this is a no brainer.  My biggest struggle was ME and trusting that in the end it will get done.